This morning is a bad day for me...wake in the morning happily, dolling up myself, putting make up, wearing earrings etc... went out of my house, found out its raining... cool man, Heaven is making fun of me sia..

Yeap, today is a friday norhx, last day of the week... hmmm, having lots of mixed feelings this morning i can say... nearly cried out during lunch time... luckily my colleagues are out for lunch...

100% of Mixed feelings led to 100% stress which caused me don't have the appetite to eat, smoking also less.. it seems like everything i am doing at that moment seems to slow down.. Time seems to slow by , min by min, sec by sec... mind started to get jam... ears started to shut off, nothing goes into my ears , goes into my mind... Just for a second... my fire shoots up to the max... which i myself couldn't control or save the fire which is burning on top of me... Oh dear, this is the most scariest side of me which i hate too...

Anger/sad/upset had spoilt whole day of my mood actually... the anger which is inside me still burning for couple of hours... mind still inactive for couple of hours... but no choice, it was my working hours... if it is not my working hours, i will sure go and sleep to cool myself down... the highest record of sleeping hours which i ever slept is nearly to 72hours long... *not yet create a new record of mine till now*

Hmmm, why am i feeling so much of bad mood and anger is because of something, some incident which happens to occur at that moment of time... well, it's all over liao...Well, i dun neo what am i thinking or feeling in the afternoon, the time when i started to think back is after hanging phone, colleagues came back from lunch...

Brooding over wad have i done, the mistakes i made, the anger i had, the temper which is in my blood... which comes to a conclusion that, i am really not a good person, no matter wad i done, no matter how i shows, the results/answer which i get = no actions shown....

Starting to think how to make loved ones to neo that actually i cares, the amount of effort i put in, the attention which i been giving... Many ppl says before, "if 1 day, ur loved ones left u for bad reasons, u are the one who caused all these, but if 1day, ur loved ones left u for good reasons, which means it fated to be this way..." no matter how much attention i shown, how much of effort i am trying to put in, how much i do really cares, if the person/loved ones doesn't saw it, there's nothing i can do anymore...

Yupp, amount of effort which i put in is not as much as opposite party, at least i did tried to put...

Yupp, amount of care and concern which i gives is not as much as opposite party gives, but at least i am trying... Yupp, i may not be the one who can gives opposite party 100% of attention, but at least, for a moment of time, a sec, days, months, years, i did show u 100% of attention, though the percentage needs to accumulate, bit by bit, more by more, increase till highest score... But at least, all these, i never do it unwillingly...

Saying sorry is always a "word" to cool ur loved ones down.. esp their mood... but 1 party kept saying sorry is a way of giving in, when time gets longer, it will feel tired, tiredness can be anything, tired in loving, tired in giving, tired in tolerating, tired in quarrelling, tired of many many other things... On the other side, i neo, saying sorry may not always the right person to say at a right time.. but if by saying sorry to a right person at a wrong time, it will consider "same results"... got my meaning, my fellow readers... hmmmm.... I myself always "lai bu ji" say sorry to the right person at a right time, end up i always says sorry to the wrong person at a wrong time.. or end up nv even say sorry despite how sorry am i ...

Hmmm, well, life is full of emotionals, full of desires, full of politicals, full of confusion... we will never be clear of wad we want actually, even if 1 day when we found out wad we realli wants, cos the world is changing, the earth is turning, mind is thinking different things daily, economy is rising, prices are increasing as well... haha...

Hmmm, this blog post for today is so long till i dun neo wad am i writing lohx.. got the feelings to write, than i wrote on it before i forgot norhx...

After work, meeting baobeii bii at mrt, hold hands together to suntec to meet anna, nellie, thomas and my brother for movie and dinner norhx, intend to watch show at suntec, babylon, but due to some incidents, or lateness, we decide to watch another show at marina square.. hmmm before watching the show, we went to thai express for our dinner lohx.. hmmm cool lohx... lol..

Well, the show of MIRROR is rather a nice show i can say... alots of scary parts which makes my heartbeat pumping pumping.... haha... worth to watch i can say...

Hmmm, nice nice nice... reached home at around 1am.. haha, sitting in front of computer... started to do blogging again.. lolx... now its turn for me to go bath liao... *winks*